Quick answer: Heather Dubrow says she feels “a little ghosted” by Real Housewives of Orange County newcomer Carmella Garcia. Speaking on the October 29 episode of the RHOC After Show, Heather said the two haven’t spoken since the Season 20 premiere party, even though she thought they were becoming close friends. Carmella said on the same show that they’ve “not really” talked, blaming busy schedules and the distance between them, and praised a kind gesture Heather made for her son (Bravo; Reality Blurb). The reunion starts Thursday, November 5 on Bravo.
Of all the twists in RHOC’s milestone 20th season, the Heather and Carmella friendship was one of the least expected. It started with an insult, survived an on-camera apology and lasted all the way to Japan. Now, by Heather’s account, it has gone quiet. Here’s what was said, and how we got here.
What Heather said about Carmella
According to Reality Blurb, Heather, 57, told the RHOC After Show that the only castmates she really hears from are Tamra Judge and Gina Kirschenheiter. She hadn’t heard from Carmella since she saw her at the premiere party (Reality Blurb).
Heather admitted she might be “overly sensitive.” But she said she really believed she and Carmella were building a deeper friendship, and she was excited about it. She said they had texted, she thinks, the day before the cast trip to Japan. After Japan, she said, she hadn’t heard from her. She also said she wasn’t sure whether it was up to her to reach out, and wondered if it was “selfish” to expect a text from Carmella.
The line that made the headlines came next. Heather said she had made an effort to keep the friendship going but felt “a little ghosted.” It stung more, she explained, when she heard Tamra was in touch with Carmella and that Carmella had been out to lunch or dinner with other castmates. Her position now, as Reality Blurb reports it: she likes Carmella and would happily hang out, but she doesn’t want to always be the one making the plans.
Bravo’s own post-season roundup tells the same story. It notes that Heather’s end card says she “plans to compartmentalize her friends,” and that she told the After Show she and Carmella “haven’t spoken” since the premiere party (Bravo).
Carmella’s side of the story
Carmella doesn’t describe a falling-out. In separate After Show clips, she confirmed they’ve “not really” spoken lately, but put it down to busy lives and distance, Bravo reports. According to Reality Blurb, Carmella, 44, is usually based in San Diego, while Heather lives in Los Angeles, which Carmella called “so far” away. She said she thought the two of them were “great” and that things were “fine.”
Reality Blurb also reports that Carmella skipped the cast trip to Tokyo because of struggles with her diabetes, and admitted to feeling embarrassed around the other women.
Then came the detail that softens the whole story. Carmella revealed that Heather had sent treats to her kids at Easter. Her son has a severe egg allergy and had never eaten a doughnut, so Heather arranged allergy-friendly baked goods from a friend’s bakery and had them sent to him. According to both outlets, Carmella called it a generous, kind gesture that meant a lot to her, and said Heather told her it had nothing to do with the show (Bravo; Reality Blurb).
So there’s no feud here, at least not yet. It’s two women who both seem to have expected the other to pick up the phone.
How the friendship started: “trashy,” then an apology
To see why Heather was so invested, rewind to September. In Episode 9, “Ring of Truth” (aired September 3), it came out that Heather had called Carmella “trashy” off camera and said she didn’t belong in the group. At the same time, Carmella was helping Heather find an apartment, according to Bravo’s episode synopsis and Reality Tea’s recap (Reality Tea; Bravo).
Gina felt “extremely blindsided” by that choice, Vulture’s recap notes. At a lunch with Emily Simpson and Tamra, she said it would “reflect negatively” on her. When Jenn Pedranti raised the “trashy” comment over lunch, Heather admitted she had “prejudged” Carmella. She said the two were “forming a very nice friendship” and that she felt bad. Then, at Jenn’s garden party, Heather pulled Carmella aside, owned up to what she had said and apologised. The two hugged it out (Reality Tea). Vulture’s recapper called it a “gold standard” Housewives apology (Vulture).
That’s what makes the “ghosted” comment land. Heather didn’t just stumble into this friendship. She apologised on camera for it, and stood by it while some of the group questioned it.
Who Heather actually talks to now
The same After Show doubled as a who’s-in, who’s-out roll call for Heather. According to Reality Blurb:
- Tamra Judge is the castmate Heather says she’s closest to, and Tamra returned the compliment: “We talk the most.” Tamra added that she does talk to Carmella, who “reaches out once in a while.”
- Gina Kirschenheiter is the other Housewife Heather says she hears from. That’s despite the finale, where Gina called Heather out for judging her finances. Gina told Bravo Insider in August that the two “always work it out” (Bravo).
- Emily Simpson and Heather “haven’t spoken,” Heather said. Emily’s end card puts it as having “barely spoken since filming ended” (Bravo).
The Tokyo trip and the finale
Japan is where things seem to have drifted. Carmella didn’t go on the trip. Heather, for her part, told Jenn in the finale that she had felt left out in Tokyo. Gina also confronted Heather at Vicki Gunvalson’s 20th anniversary party over comments about her spending (our finale recap). For the spending row in full, see Gina’s response to the cast.
Carmella had her own big finale moment. She turned up at Vicki’s party uninvited and confronted her, with Heather and Tamra stepping in to help. Since then, Carmella says, Vicki has blocked her on social media, and the two “have not reconciled,” according to Bravo.
Where both women stand after Season 20
Away from each other, both had plenty going on when the cameras stopped. According to Bravo’s roundup of the end cards, Heather and her mom, Carole, “continue to unpack their relationship.” Carmella and her boyfriend, Danny Hampel, have split “this time, for good.” Presley, one of her four kids with retired NFL quarterback Jeff Garcia, is now away at college, and Carmella “continues to invest in new property development” (Bravo).
Put those updates next to the After Show clips and the picture is clearer. Neither woman has said a bad word about the other since filming. Heather is hurt that the texts stopped. Carmella remembers a kind gesture and says she thought they were fine. That’s a much softer starting point than most reunion feuds, and it could go either way on the couch.
Will it come up at the reunion?
Almost certainly. The reunion was filmed on October 2 in Los Angeles. On Bravo’s seating chart, Heather sits to Andy Cohen’s right alongside Tamra, Jenn and Carmella (Bravo). Heather even predicted she’d be in the hot seat, telling Bravo Insider, “I had issues with many people this season, not intentional.” Carmella said she planned to “show up, have a couple of drinks” and “deal with whatever needs to be dealt with.”
Heather is going in glam. Bravo’s reunion look reveal shows her in a sculptural red Gaurav Gupta gown, a look she says was all about “Hollywood glamour” (Bravo).
How to watch the RHOC Season 20 reunion
The reunion starts Thursday, November 5, at 8/7c on Bravo, Reality Blurb reports. RHOC episodes stream the next day on Peacock (Bravo). For both reunion dates, the seating chart and how to watch in the UK, see our RHOC Season 20 reunion guide. Every Housewives story is on our Real Housewives hub.
Sources
- Reality Blurb, “RHOC’s Heather Dubrow Suggests She Was ‘Ghosted’ by Carmella After Season 20” (November 1, 2026): realityblurb.com
- Bravo, “Where the RHOC Cast Stands After Season 20” (October 29, 2026): bravotv.com
- Bravo, “RHOC Season 20 Reunion: Everything to Know” (October 2, 2026): bravotv.com
- Bravo, “RHOC Season 20 Reunion Looks Revealed”: bravotv.com
- Bravo, RHOC Season 20 Episode 9, “Ring of Truth”: bravotv.com
- Reality Tea, RHOC Season 20 Episode 9 recap (September 4, 2026): realitytea.com
- Vulture, “RHOC” Season 20 Episode 9 recap (September 3, 2026): vulture.com
